8 Ways to Stop Stressin’ About Textin’

Nervous about texting Potential Bae? Peep these tips to make your first convos easy and chill.

By Khalea Underwood

1. Stop Stressin’ about Pressin’

A text message conversation can be a lot less intimidating than an in-person one or even a phone call. It’s normal to feel nervous and want to say the “right” thing, but don’t let that quest for perfection keep you silent. Besides, he’s probably freaking out a little bit on his end, too. Remember, if he’s texting you, he’s already interested. Whether you respond to his “Hi” with a “Hey Bae,” or a “Hello, what’s up,” he’s just going to be glad you texted back in the first place. 

2. Have a Pocket of Topics

Exchanging numbers with your crush is only the beginning. The next challenge: keeping the conversation going — which can be very difficult, especially if there’s nothing to talk about. Even if he texts you first, still have a few topics in mind so that your convo will end with “’See you on Saturday!” versus a lame “LOL.”

3. Keep It Short and Sweet

Texts were meant to be 160 characters for a reason, so don’t go sending him a four-page letter. Think of texting as your gateway to a real conversation — either on the phone or in person — later on. That being said, try not to be too brief, either: One-word (or even worse, one letter) texts are so frustrating and don’t really give you a way to carry on the convo.

4. Avoid an Emoji Overload

Emojis can be the perfect supplement for expression when words fail — keyword here is “supplement.” Don’t bog him down with a milli tiny yellow faces until you both know each other better. The first leg of texting can make or break a potential relationship, so smile/smirk/wink wisely!

5. Dodge Any Paper Trail

Got something important to say? Save it for when you see him. The wrath of the screenshot hides from no one, and you don’t want to be a victim of public humiliation by an immature jerk. Some things are better left unsaid — or only said in person.

6. Send Pics on Your Terms

In this era of Instagram and Facebook, et al., there’s no reason why your crush shouldn’t know what you look like — especially if you both go to the same school! Guys say that they want your picture for their “contacts” which is fair enough, but if you’re not okay with sending one, just don’t. And definitely don’t send a photo of yourself that you wouldn’t want seen by everybody and their mamma.

7. Balance it Out

If you want to talk to your crush, just talk to him. It’s that simple. But be mindful of how much you’re hitting him up, though. You don’t have to text him every single minute of every single day — and please, please, PLEASE don’t double text if you don’t get a response. 

8. A Texting Buddy Isn’t Your Boyfriend

Yes, your crush is a fun person to text. But if you guys aren’t talking on the phone, talking in person, and going out on dates after a while, it may be best to move on. Texting is supposed to be a precursor to an actual relationship, but if sparks don’t end up flying for you two, no worries. Some guys are meant to remain only in your inbox.

This article originally appeared in Sesi’s Winter 2013 issue. Subscribe here to get the current issue, on sale now.


Quarterly print teen magazine for Black girls ages 13 to 19. Covering The Black Girl's Mainstream™

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